these days I have loads of thoughts in my mind: one of these is to start an undergraduate course in fine arts or fine art-photography. I am scared about it. i don't understand why i chose what I am doing right now, it was the right choice back in time though; neuroscience is still very interesting but I feel like I can be something different... but at the same time I am not sure. I am frightened about that, to be honest. I don't know what to say to my parents, where to find the money , which course to choose. Apart from that, I don't want to do it for work, I just want to have time to do it properly, to gain some skills, to know better what i could tell you. no matter the place, i need a big town with a big family. For Jesus' s sake ,I am 21 years old, but young enough or old enough?
Where does this lead me? confusion...
It is interesting that you say "I feel like I can be something different" instead of something like " I feel that I should do something different". Is "do" and "be" the same?
ReplyDeletefor me doing is actually the same thing of being. if i do something,I am used to think about it a lot. I have always chosen with my own mind what to do in my life, where to go and with whom to stay. I m not the one who follows something or someone. My attitude towards life is pretty much what i have decided.In my new amazing life I feel like i should do something else, alongside of neuroscience. I am made up of different parts. at the moment My scientific interest is satisfied but not the arty one . I don t want to do art as a job. I just want to do it for myself. I am interested in too many things , that s the problem. what do u reckon?
ReplyDeletedoing ART would make me feel better. I feel I am quite good at doing something and at the same time I think also that I don't have the knowledge and the education to develop it in its highest level. Could u imagine to learn to do something that satisfy you without thinking about money or job or a place in your life, something u do and u like doing it? it s like dancing , u dance rock and roll and u feel good. it would be way better if u could learn how to dance properly in the old-fashioned way. You can be way happier in doing that. It s like meditation somehow, if you learn how to mediate, you learn yourself better and you feel better.
ReplyDeleteit s a difficult topic. i know.
I think you should chose the art-photography. I'm in the same situatnion as you, I know that I probably will never get a lot of many from my job but I have chosen art histry. And, what is a li funny, I want to be a jurnalist, write abou pop-culture, and the high-culture in polish very "underground" magazines. So, I think you oght to run your dreams! Even if you don't expect to have many from it... I know it's a hard decision...
ReplyDelete(I love the Narcis by Valasquez...)
I'm sorry for lots of mistakes in the writhing, I have dyslexia and I'm very tiret right now. Of course I meant "money" not "many", It's becaus in polish this word saund just "many" XD.
ReplyDelete